The ‘How to Prep Your Breakfast When Your U-Haul is Still Packed’ Puzzle

Yes, the picture is blurry. Yes, I am sitting on a Queen Size Mattress with the roof 1″ from my head. Yes, that is a toaster oven I just climbed over everything I own to get to it in the U-Haul …

Okay – so call me crazy, deranged, whatever; at least I knew that in the morning I was  really wanting to have a nice, warm and toasted McDonald’s Southern-Style Chicken Biscuit when I woke up in my new apartment. But since I already purchased several for my family which had already eaten this morning when they showed up to help me load the U-Haul, I felt obligated to eat those before I bought any more. Yes, I could have just gone to McD’s tomorrow – but this was a puzzle that I had just enough energy and ridiculousness to solve tonight.

Puzzle Objective: I will want a chicken biscuit in the morning.

State of Puzzle: I have four uneaten sitting in the frig now. Everything took too long today, and I didn’t sign my lease until 9:45pm. The U-Haul truck is still packed. I am sleepy. I am slightly frustrated that the schedule didn’t do exactly as I hoped. I turn into a miser at the strangest time: now is one of those times. The car is still hitched to the U-Haul car dolly. Even though my toaster oven was one of the last things packed (I did this on purpose to make sure it was accessible, but forgot to tell everyone else why), it was packed in the very front of the 17″ truck to fill a gap. Soggy biscuits are the worst. The U-Haul is dark and I don’t know how to turn the light on. I have an iPhone with a flashlight app. It is hard to toast something in the oven. Every man should have at least one toaster oven in his life – I have two. You can’t unhook the truck to even go to McD’s without unhooking the car without unhooking the straps and chains on the car …

So I did what any calm, mild-mannered man would do …

… I became Spider-Man.

Thanks Peter Parker for inspiring millions … and giving me the hope that yes I can climb over many boxes, spreading my weight evenly across cardboard that should not be able to hold the weight of a human, sliding across the box-springs, using my iPhone as a flashlight, and then, being cognizant enough to think: “This would make a funny story – I should snap a picture.”

Hope you have a great breakfast tomorrow. I will.

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