The fight for purity in mind, body, and soul – especially from sexual temptation – has never been harder. But in the Church of God, if we cannot actually talk about it, then it will remain one of Satan’s perfect fiery darts that we won’t admit are tearing ourselves and our family apart, silently but methodically.
Below is a list of books, articles, messages, charts, contacts, and media that has helped me in my own fight. May the God of mercy and healing be with you. Fight on!
Every Man’s Battle – link to book on Amazon – I have probably read this five times over the past 5 years. Very good practical guide to fighting temptation and understanding how much it hurts others around you. The story of both the co-authors is very uplifting. One warning: it is actually more of a secular approach to a very deeply spiritual matter. It gives very practical coping skills, but lacks on what should be the motivation behind being pure. Hint: it’s not your [future] wife.
The Way of Purity – link to workbook on Amazon – A fantastic 60 day devotional and study guide perfect for you and your accountability partner to work through. I have now gone through it twice – fantastic work the author Mike Cleveland put into this. Gets into more spiritual meat, biblically based, on how, what and why you should fight the fight.
How to Stop A Porn Addiction – link to video and free study guide – A Beyond Today tv program specifically addressing the need to get help and it’s impacts from a biblical perspective. My psychiatric counselor is interviewed along with several men recovering from its effects and how it messed their lives up. This is worth fighting.
Wild at Heart – link to book on Amazon – A great book attacking one of the key issues for men mostly: daddy issues. Many women are encouraged by it also – but is what I would call a ‘dangerous book’ getting at the heart of what makes a man strong, courageous and dangerous – based on examples from Jesus’s life and with lots of references to epic movies. Undealt with daddy issues and emasculation are prime culprits of losing heart in your fight for purity.
Way of the Wild Heart – link to book on Amazon – John Eldridge’s followup to Wild at Heart, this goes into better understanding your role as a man inside of your season of life.
2013 Statistics on Porn from Covenant Eyes – Download Stats PDF – This is scary stuff about the industry, the performers, the users, the ages, and the impacts. It gives the sources of all the research of their statistics – which normally can get very muddy if you just look for statistics elsewhere on the internet.
Safe Eyes Internet Filter Software – link to website – This is what I personally use on my Mac. All internet filters are absolutely pains-in-the-butt, HOWEVER this errs on the side of caution if you set it up well (except google image search). You can always find ways around things like this, but in your fight, it gives you a couple extra minutes (or seconds if you are a techy) to reconsider your actions.
Sometimes Being Radical Is Only Reasonable – Message on Youtube – This is one of the biggest lessons I have begun to learn with my fight for purity. I gave this short sermonette in my church congregation, but the example I give of Facebook and time wasting wasn’t the main motivation – it was really about how Facebook had turned into one of my ‘triggers’ for me to fail in my fight for purity. This is a tough, tough lesson to really take seriously – to be willing to give up our rights for a higher calling. But this is serious business.
Dr. Douglas Reed – website for his practice – Dr. Reed is my personal psychologist and the professional that pours his heart into helping addicts of sexual histories recover. If you live anywhere near Mason, OH outside of Cincinnati, I would highly recommend his HEALTH groups – you understand from a scientific, brain research basis how the sexual addiction changes your chemistry. He teaches steps to fight the ‘brain growl’ of when temptation starts. His associate, Dr. Roy Fouch, is my christian counselor.
“Purity Is Worth Fighting For” Seminar – Notes and Presentation – These are my personal speaking notes for the seminar presented to participants at the Lexington Winter Family Weekend 2013. Contains bible verses, story cues of my personal life and recovery, charts, and other tidbits of information.
And if you have any questions, or would like to understand more of my personal journey in recovery, please contact me.